PC CATCHALL FOR VAN ZIEKS

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[look he thought snakes drink milk give him a break]

Oh, she's not, I assure you. [Putting her back on his shoulder and giving her head a pat.] And....mmm? What, pray tell, do you need?

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....

[Ugh he hates to have to ask Sholmes for anything, but.]

I wish you to tell me about Iris.
[My NIECE that you KEPT from me.]

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...

[His expression is a bit unreadable, and although he doesn't have his characteristic hat, he just raises a hand to sort of shield his eyes a little. Ah, yes. Of course he'd be interested.]

That's a high order of a question, even coming from a prosecutor like you. What about her do you wish to know?

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... I hardly know the first thing about her.
[He sounds almost guilty??? His NIECE....]

Anything you have to tell me, really. I don't know where to start.

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You do have eyes, yes? You have seen her in court, alongside that brilliant Japanese student.

[And a huff.]

But she is brilliant in her own right, you know. She got her medical degree only around...a year or so ago? Yes.

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A medical degree already at her age?
[HELLO????]

Certainly that’s proof positive of some great brilliance...
[An askance look like he’s wondering how someone like the farcical great detective raised her to such great results.]

Before trial the other day she was speaking of bespoke tea blends. I suppose that’s related... Perhaps there’s some instinctive nature in her to do what she can to help others.
[Like Klint. Just directed differently.]

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...

[Yes, of course. He's thinking about his brother. And now, knowing what he knows....whether he can see part of his brother in her, somehow. The ghosts of the pasts, lingering.]

[Also wow, don't give him that look, he's a good father. Somehow.]

She's a sweet girl. [A pause. He's looking away now. His voice sounds thick.] Truly, I could not ask for...a kinder daughter.

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[Listen maybe if you didn't act like a clown he wouldn't have to give you this look. At least he's polite enough not to say anything.]

So it would seem.
[She went out of her way to offer him, the Hated and Feared Reaper of the Old Bailey, her special tea. An invitation to her home.]

I trust you will continue to keep her well and cared for. I... there is little I can do for her now.

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[Sometimes a clown gotta clown, okay.]

...

[And he manages to collect himself, looking back at Van Zieks.]

But of course. I may remind you that there is little I can do for her now, while we are both stuck in this place of all places. I haven't seen her around, so I can only suspect she has been left behind. More "hope" than "suspect", perhaps.

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Mm. While we do not seem to be in any immediate danger...
[Frowning a little, because he is sick and tired of convoluted nonsense that for some reason seems to happen whenever these people are about, though this is beyond any of that, really.]

Given that we seem to be arriving here from, somehow, different points in time, I wonder whether Iris will even notice you missing.
[Are we perhaps unstuck in time.]

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[A pause.]

[And then a barking laugh.]

What if I happened to return and then there were two of me! Ahahaha! Solving mysteries at twice the pace, at twice the power! And you'd have to deal with my twin. Wouldn't that be something?

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...

[van Zieks is a man who believes strongly in the importance of Law and Order, and while he understands why Klint did what he did, he doesn't condone it, as much as he cares for and respects his late brother.

However, at this moment he does wonder for a moment whether it would be acceptable to murder a duplicate Herlock Sholmes.]

Lets not consider such a scenario before we've even worked out the one we're in now.

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[(sholmes voice) i triple dog dare you to kill my double)]

Ahahaha! But in exchange, there may be another you. Now that would be a sight to see.

[HE JUST SAID NOT TO CONSIDER IT]

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If you do not have anything further to say that's of any actual use, then this conversation is over.

[GO AWAY.]

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[.....]

[He does turn away, as if to leave, but turns his head over his shoulder.]

Say. Are you the type of man who dispenses favors?

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[It's his instinct to say no but he can't argue that Sholmes' is an entirely useless ally, so;]

... That depends on what it is.

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[...]




[A low sigh.]

We live in dangerous times, Mr.Reaper. [....] If anything were to happen to this great detective....do find your way out of this place to Iris. Not that I think I really need to tell you that.

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[HELLO????????????]

I...
[He hardly feels like he has any right to take any responsibility over Iris's care, but. Really.]

Of course. As long as I draw breath, I will make certain no harm comes to her, and I will make sure there are people to care for her even in the event of your death.

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...

[There's a sound, almost like a sigh of relief?]

You know, for someone as scary as the Reaper of the Old Bailey, you sure do have a soft heart, don't you?

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[Ah yes. He'd been meaning to say.]

It's my understanding you're aware of all that was said in the closed trial, yes? You know full well I was never the Reaper.

[Just not going to even acknowledge the soft heart comment.]

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But of course I am aware.

[And putting his pipe to his mouth.]

Anyways, I do thank you for your favor.

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She is my kin, whether she is aware of it or not. It is my duty to make such assurances whether you ask them of me or not.

[He's not doing it for YOU he's doing it for IRIS.]

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Ahaha. I would expect nothing less from a man such as yourself.

[And a wave over his shoulder as he leaves.]

Do get some sun when you can. It'll do you some good.

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[SHUT UP YOU BIG BABY GOTH GET YOUR VITAMIN D]