PC CATCHALL FOR VAN ZIEKS

[greatdeduction]

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[greatdeduction]

...

[He makes a very frustrated noise.]

I do not know how to say this, but...I will say it bluntly. I was cursed twice.

[winebar]

....

[Ah. That thought hadn't even occurred to him.]
You really seem to have terrible luck with those.

Still, the bulk of my point stands.

[greatdeduction]

...

[He shakes his head.]

Can I ask you a question?

[winebar]

I can't imagine it would actually stop you if I said no.

[greatdeduction]

...

[He is a bit wobbly on his feet. A long pause. He doesn't seem like he likes what he is about to ask.]

Do you or do you not still have feelings for me after all of that?

[winebar]

[It's tempting to just offer a flippant "no," but...]

I... hold more respect for you than I would care to admit. But I don't have... those sort of feelings, towards you, no.

Are you quite alright?
[WHY are you wobbling.]

[greatdeduction]

...

[He looks up in the sky with an expression that could be either muted relief or a very long-suffering exhaustion.]

No. I did take a note from your book.

[winebar]

[HE IS DRUNK.]

And what does that mean?

[greatdeduction]

[Mimes pouring a drink and drinking it?]

[winebar]

......

Why are you drunk? It is not even past noon yet.

[greatdeduction]

[ANGRILY GESTURES TO HIM??]

What do you think? This whole blasted business, I do believe!

[winebar]

If you had simply followed my instructions there would be nothing to be concerned about!

[WE JUST REPRESS IT AND MOVE ON AND RETREAT BACK INTO THE CLOSET.]

[greatdeduction]

Oh believe me, there is much to be concerned about here. There is another man tangled up in this mess, after all.

[winebar]

Then go talk to him and stop bothering me. I am trying to remove certain thoughts from my mind and your presence isn't helping.

[greatdeduction]

[just]

[looking at him like wtf]

What thoughts?

[winebar]

[The smell of him, the warm of Sholmes' lips on his own, the firmness of his hands, the painful desperate feeling of want and the overwhelmingly feeling of being wanted, feeling safe in another's arms-]

That is none of your concern.

[greatdeduction]

[just.]

[stares at him.]

If my existence is bringing on these thoughts.....oh, don't tell me.

[STARING UP AT THE SKY AGAIN WHICH IS THE OCEAN PLEASE HELP HIM HE IS NOT DRUNK ENOUGH FOR THIS]

You probably want to. I don't know. Kiss me again, or something of the like.

[winebar]

[GO GET MORE DRUNK THEN HE DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS. He goes a bit red but is mostly mad.]

I believe I told you to leave my sight.

[greatdeduction]

Yes, see! [POINTING AT HIM!] I was right. Come on, man, you just told me you don't have any feelings! Unless...

[he does not curse BUT HE REALLY WANTS TO CURSE RIGHT NOW]

Oh, you really don't know how to deal with any of this, do you.

[winebar]

[UGH.

He is just turning on his heel and walking away from Sholmes. YOU CAN'T CATCH ME, DRUNK AVATAR OF MY GAY THOUGHTS!!!!]

[greatdeduction]

Oh, yes, running away. Taking a leaf from my book now.

[EXHAUSTED SIGH and now he's coming after him, although a bit. Stumbly.]

Whatever you're going to do is just going to make it worse, you know, you utter fool.

[winebar]

[JUST WALKING FASTLY.]

I'm not going to do anything. I neither need nor want to act on these urges with you or anyone else.

[LET ME GO BACK INTO MY CLOSET.]

[greatdeduction]

"Urges"? Oh, please. They're there! Can't stay blind forever.

[WALKING DRUNKENLY FASTER AFTER HIM]

So what are you going to do? You're a human being with wants and desires, not a machine. Acknowledge that!

[winebar]

How I live my life is none of your business, Sholmes. You have no call to concern yourself with me!

[LEAVE ME ALONE I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!]

[greatdeduction]

I was a part of that mess of a curse too, you know!

[WHAT IS HE, CHOPPED LIVER]

Ugh. [And he's stopping....and then stumbling backwards onto the ground.] Ow. You really are impossible.