[It would be nice, wouldn't it? Some days, to simply be a calculating machine. To not let whims and emotions pull one forward. To let the heart stay silent, and to simply solve without care for the consequences.]
[But he isn't that. At his heart, he's simply just a human being. A human being that perhaps knows more than the average human being does, and can cut to the heart of a matter better than most, but...in the end.....]
[Fallible. Imperfect. Irrational.]
[Gregson died, and he couldn't stop that from happening, and it weighs on his mind to this day, because he tried so hard, so very hard to keep him safe, and...]
[He draws back, and clutches his head for a good moment.]
I'm going to find a drink. [...] If you want to join me, the invitation is yours.
[On the one hand, he could drink. On the other hand, Sholmes will be there, on the third hand he's in a weird headspace at the moment and maybe he shouldn't be alone at the moment and there isn't anyone here who understands how he feels besides Sholmes.
....]
Only if there is no talking. [We drink in silence like proper emotionally constipated victorian men.]
[Maybe for this one rare moment...he doesn't feel like talking. What is there to say? What is there to do? The sins of ten years can be fixed, but the scars will never heal.]
[He just nods and turns, expecting the other to follow along. Drinking time, Mr. Reaper.]
[Barok van Zieks Will Remember This. He already knew, abstractly, that Herlock Sholmes was more that the complete disaster of an idiot that he seemed. But now he has a more concrete sense of it. He can't decide if it makes him hate the man less or more.
Now is really when he feels the amount of capes available in Cittagaze lacking. He needs to enshroud himself!! Stupid modern people. And their therapy and rules against doing drugs.
He has nothing to say he is just following after Sholmes. Actually, he has one more thing to say;]
[But that actually makes Sholmes bark out a laugh in return. Ah, of course. The security that comes with a shared secret. Nothing like it. He smiles over his shoulder.]
I wouldn't dream of it, Mr. Van Zieks.
[Enjoy the name drop for now. It will probably be back to Mr. Reaper by tomorrow.]
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[It would be nice, wouldn't it? Some days, to simply be a calculating machine. To not let whims and emotions pull one forward. To let the heart stay silent, and to simply solve without care for the consequences.]
[But he isn't that. At his heart, he's simply just a human being. A human being that perhaps knows more than the average human being does, and can cut to the heart of a matter better than most, but...in the end.....]
[Fallible. Imperfect. Irrational.]
[Gregson died, and he couldn't stop that from happening, and it weighs on his mind to this day, because he tried so hard, so very hard to keep him safe, and...]
[He draws back, and clutches his head for a good moment.]
I'm going to find a drink. [...] If you want to join me, the invitation is yours.
no subject
....]
Only if there is no talking.
[We drink in silence like proper emotionally constipated victorian men.]
no subject
[Maybe for this one rare moment...he doesn't feel like talking. What is there to say? What is there to do? The sins of ten years can be fixed, but the scars will never heal.]
[He just nods and turns, expecting the other to follow along. Drinking time, Mr. Reaper.]
no subject
Now is really when he feels the amount of capes available in Cittagaze lacking. He needs to enshroud himself!! Stupid modern people. And their therapy and rules against doing drugs.
He has nothing to say he is just following after Sholmes. Actually, he has one more thing to say;]
And you will tell no one of this.
no subject
[But that actually makes Sholmes bark out a laugh in return. Ah, of course. The security that comes with a shared secret. Nothing like it. He smiles over his shoulder.]
I wouldn't dream of it, Mr. Van Zieks.
[Enjoy the name drop for now. It will probably be back to Mr. Reaper by tomorrow.]