PC CATCHALL FOR VAN ZIEKS

[greatdeduction]

Comments

[winebar]

I do go to the vineyards. But very few people still press their grapes with such antiquated methods.

[If you went to vineyards like me you would know that.]

[greatdeduction]

[not everyone is a wine uncle like you, karen von zieks.]

So...you're a wine expert.

Any other hobbies?

[winebar]

Bat husbandry.

[He just says this like it's normal.]

[greatdeduction]

[STARES AT HIM FOR. A WHILE]

You. Breed bats.

[winebar]

A family took up residence in my office and I decided to keep them.

[And he complains people think he's a vampire.]

[greatdeduction]

And you complain about people thinking you're a vampire.

[ganks that meta text thanks]

...Do they have names?

[winebar]

... They might.

[greatdeduction]

What are their names?

[winebar]

I hardly think that information is relevant.

[greatdeduction]

It is. Let us hear them, if you would please.

[winebar]

[......]

The parents are named Edmund and Octavia. Currently, they have five children. The children are named Klint, Tobias, Henrietta, Courtney, and Suzette.

[Please assume that his late parents' names were Edmund and Octavia, if you think Sholmes would know it.]

[greatdeduction]

[He was going to assume they were named REALLY POSH NOBLE NAMES and he was partially right, but...]

[Hm.]

They sound like a lovely family.

[winebar]

[Sometimes you are just very sad and lonely and have no imagination.]

I've grown quite fond of them. They are fascinating creatures, and surprisingly companionable. I've noted distinct personalities in each one. Even what sort of fruit they prefer. And of course there's never a single insect to be found in my office.

[greatdeduction]

[oh no]


[this is]


[adorable, honestly]

I see. Well, it must take a skilled hand to deal with such reclusive creatures.

[Wondering why his daemon doesn't have a bat form, honestly.]

[winebar]

They are not reclusive. They are simply nocturnal. They are actually quite social creatures, that is why they live in family units.

[That's why.]

[greatdeduction]

[MORE GAP MOE]

...I stand corrected. [A beat.] You really do have a soft heart, don't you, Mr. Van Zieks?

[winebar]

[Looks away.]

I've never claimed not to. People have simply formed their own opinions around me.
[He steps away, and manages to catch himself just right in another shard of glass, and in it is reflected a memory.]

[greatdeduction]

...

[He just has a sort of weirdly bashful look like he's just seen a picture of a cute kitten.]

Ah. Was that really you in school? [A nod.] How precious.

[winebar]

[I am not a kitten!!! Cease!!!]

... Yes. It was a chance meeting. But I am glad for it.

[greatdeduction]

[THE GAP MOE IS REALLLLLLLLLLLLL]

What good friends you are.

[never not going to look at van zieks and unsee this memory thank you for the ammunition]

But see? You could have more of that. You have me, of course. But there are others here, too!

[winebar]

[UGHHHHH.]

It should be clear to see I am not the same person as I was back then.

[greatdeduction]

Oh no, I certainly see it. Guess where I see it?

[His eyes are sparkling, boyishly.]

[winebar]

No.

[Now he's sulking.]

[greatdeduction]

[wiggles his finger]

[pokes him in the chest over his heart]

It's.....right here! Yes it is.

[winebar]

... You're not nearly as cute as you think you are.

[COULD YOU HAVE COME UP WITH A CORNIER RESPONSE?]