I thought you didn't think I was worth my salt as a consulting detective, Mr. Reaper, and here you are, supposing I knew the truth of a case that perplexed the whole of London over.
[He's trying to pull himself out of the man's grip, now.]
I never said that. Your skill as a detective and your irritating personality are two separate matters. You knew who Iris's father was all along. It's not unreasonable to suspect there was other information only you were privy to.
And what reason did you have to think that the knowledge of her real father would be harmful to her? As far as the general public knew, Klint was a victim. A noble man who fought to protect the people of London. A hero.
But you protected her from that information. Because you knew that wasn't the real truth. Am I wrong? [HE'S GONE FULL PROSECUTOR MODE.]
The truth did not "get out." Naruhodo worked tirelessly to uncover it. You did not sit idly by and wait for the truth to emerge. You waited for someone else to do the work you didn't want to do. You couldn't even tell- [His grip tightening again. As if he would have even believed it were Sholmes to have told him? Without proof?
But still, there's just something about it, the willful concealment. It's maddening, that for ten years, this man knew Klint van Zieks more fully and truly. It's not fair. None of this is fair.]
And now you are doing the same to miss Mikotoba. You're concealing what you know for your own sake, to cover your own complicity! Where does it end, Sholmes!?
[Is what he says back, and for this moment, this brief moment, Van Zieks can see a wholly different man in his grasp. There's no jokes, no smiles. No games. Just a solid stare, not really cold, not really warm. More like its just a simple body in his grasp, and behind that stare, the cogs of an ever-thinking machine whir with reckless abandon.]
Do you think I do anything for myself, Mr. Reaper?
[This change in demeanor does give him pause. But really, he already knew Sholmes was more than the clown he presented as. That's what makes his behavior all the more maddening.]
If I misunderstand anything, it is because you refuse to explain yourself. I have no choice but to draw conclusions based on the information I have. And that suggests you are keeping these secrets to cover your own tracks.
If I'm wrong, do feel free to correct my assumptions. With actual facts.
You know that in my line of work, I make it my business to know what others do not know. Secrets are like my bread and butter. I uncover them for the service of those grand mysteries, to unlock things where I must. But secrets are weighty things.
[He lets out a low sigh.]
My friend brought the child to me, and both he and I knew the sordid details, things falling into place. So, what did you want me to do, my dear fellow? Tell her the truth, have her live happily ever as a good noble after until the dark day that Chief Justice or someone of the like would dig up the metaphorical skeleton of your poor brother and make society cast her as the daughter of a reprehensible mass murderer? You know they would have torn her to pieces.
[A shuddering exhale of breath. His free hand reaches up to grasp at his forehead.]
And with Mr. Asogi...he was embroiled in a dark plot from the very beginning. Oh, what is that? You would like me to sit that dear girl down, explain how I had to intervene to "kill" the young man off so he wouldn't become an assassin willingly? That I had to keep a man dead, in the hopes he would not leave another man dead as part of that blasted exchange? Think of her, you fool. And think of how you felt when you found out about the dark truth about the Professor. I already went through this with her, but only after I knew it was safe to do so, and that she could deal with it accordingly.
[He grits his teeth.]
I don't take delight in deceiving anyone. But secrets are weapons, liable to produce cascades of disasters there's no going back from. Some secrets must be kept under lock and key for certain periods of time. And I will gladly lie to keep more from suffering.
[To his credit, van Zieks does seem to settle down now that Sholmes has finally been forced to get serious and properly explain himself. He is quiet for a long moment, giving the full explaination the consideration it deserves. It makes sense. He knows some of it already. Knows that, as much as it pains him, that Iris is better off being raised by Sholmes than him, having that connection. Even before the truth of the Professor came out, the specter of the Reaper hung over the van Zieks family. It would have been no proper place for a child.
As for Asogi, he's aware of the attempted circumvention of the assassin exchange. Wants to bite back that a whole lot of good it did, with Gregson still lying murdered. But he cannot blame Sholmes for the desperate acts of Stronghart, compelling Jigoku to act instead. He knows Susato would not simply accept the news of Asogi's survival without explanation. All of that, he cannot dispute at this time. However;]
You speak of how I felt when I learned the truth about the Professor, or rather, the pain of learning the sort of man my brother Klint truly was. You are saying you wish to save people that pain, is it?
But what of the intervening years? I felt my brother was struck down at the height of his brilliance. That it was imperative I do whatever it took to continue his fight. To bear whatever burden, that title of Reaper, if it helped lessen the darkness. I never doubted this image, and that left me blind to the truth of what Stronghart was doing. The people killed on his orders, the dirty work he forced Gregson to do. Tobias Gregson will never get a chance to redeem himself.
And because I did not know the truth, I spend years hating and cursing a man who had once risked his own life to save mine, and every person like him, when in truth, he was a loyal confidant of Klint's to the very end. Who allowed him an honorable death he barely deserved. I sent that man to the gallows.
Do you understand how this is far more painful than simply the act of knowing a difficult truth?
[He knows how much that Van Zieks had to go through. Unknowing of the truth. Becoming the symbol of a corrupt system.]
I know.
[He closes his eyes.]
I...know.
[A sharp inhale. An exhale.]
I made choices. But I did them for my...for my daughter. In the end, yes, I suppose...I chose her over you.
[Iris above all. Iris saved, unknowing, dreaming of a father that wasn't really hers.]
Besides, would you have even believed me? Would anyone have believed me? And I only learned the truth...too late. Me, racing forward to criticize a grand noble of society as a murderer? The proof was little. Stronghart's hand was strong. And you, with your stalwart conviction and the Chief Justice's strings so taut...it needed a miracle to cut through it all, and expose the truth to trap that man so that there was no true escape. Mr. Naruhodo accomplished that brilliantly. It just came ten years too late.
[He knows he wouldn't have. Certainly he didn't believe it when Naruhodo had put it forth. Even when everyone else had been convinced. He hadn't been able to, not without the most decisive of evidence. An impossible, terrible, nightmare of a truth, who wouldn't dodge it until they truly had no other option?
But he's still angry. He's still hurt. Illogical as it may be. The reason that law is so complicated and corruptible is that Human beings are imperfect, illogical creatures, that do imperfect, illogical things. He doesn't hate Sholmes for not telling him. He simply hates the fact that the man knew the truth for so long, when Barok did not. He doesn't hate Sholmes for not doing anything, he hates that he was unable to. Hates the system that caused their respective situations, hates how everyone was only capable of exacerbating and perpetuating the situation, hates himself for being so truly, deeply, profoundly useless. He couldn't help Klint. Couldn't help Iris. Couldn't help Genshin. Couldn't help Gregson.
His hand finally falls slack at his side. Adelheid hides in the collar of his shirt, small and fragile, as a harvestman.]
Leave me. [Slightly hoarse. He barely feels it necessary to say, assuming Sholmes will bolt the moment he's released.]
[It would be nice, wouldn't it? Some days, to simply be a calculating machine. To not let whims and emotions pull one forward. To let the heart stay silent, and to simply solve without care for the consequences.]
[But he isn't that. At his heart, he's simply just a human being. A human being that perhaps knows more than the average human being does, and can cut to the heart of a matter better than most, but...in the end.....]
[Fallible. Imperfect. Irrational.]
[Gregson died, and he couldn't stop that from happening, and it weighs on his mind to this day, because he tried so hard, so very hard to keep him safe, and...]
[He draws back, and clutches his head for a good moment.]
I'm going to find a drink. [...] If you want to join me, the invitation is yours.
[On the one hand, he could drink. On the other hand, Sholmes will be there, on the third hand he's in a weird headspace at the moment and maybe he shouldn't be alone at the moment and there isn't anyone here who understands how he feels besides Sholmes.
....]
Only if there is no talking. [We drink in silence like proper emotionally constipated victorian men.]
[Maybe for this one rare moment...he doesn't feel like talking. What is there to say? What is there to do? The sins of ten years can be fixed, but the scars will never heal.]
[He just nods and turns, expecting the other to follow along. Drinking time, Mr. Reaper.]
[Barok van Zieks Will Remember This. He already knew, abstractly, that Herlock Sholmes was more that the complete disaster of an idiot that he seemed. But now he has a more concrete sense of it. He can't decide if it makes him hate the man less or more.
Now is really when he feels the amount of capes available in Cittagaze lacking. He needs to enshroud himself!! Stupid modern people. And their therapy and rules against doing drugs.
He has nothing to say he is just following after Sholmes. Actually, he has one more thing to say;]
[But that actually makes Sholmes bark out a laugh in return. Ah, of course. The security that comes with a shared secret. Nothing like it. He smiles over his shoulder.]
I wouldn't dream of it, Mr. Van Zieks.
[Enjoy the name drop for now. It will probably be back to Mr. Reaper by tomorrow.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[His daemon hiccups into a crow, and alights onto his shoulders. She hops down his arm a little to start squawking at Van Zieks.]
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... How long did you know the truth behind the Professor case, Sholmes?
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[He's trying to pull himself out of the man's grip, now.]
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[THAT JUST MAKES HIM GRIP SHOLMES'S ARM HARDER?]
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[The truth of her father. Of course he had known. There were pieces that didn't fall into place until later, but....]
...
[He looks away. The daemon at his shoulder ducks her head against his cheek.]
I had to protect her.
no subject
But you protected her from that information. Because you knew that wasn't the real truth. Am I wrong?
[HE'S GONE FULL PROSECUTOR MODE.]
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[He just looks almost....tired. Not defeated, just....tired.]
"The truth will get out, eventually". There were things left behind. The dog's collar, stolen, for example. I didn't want to chance it.
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[His grip tightening again. As if he would have even believed it were Sholmes to have told him? Without proof?
But still, there's just something about it, the willful concealment. It's maddening, that for ten years, this man knew Klint van Zieks more fully and truly. It's not fair. None of this is fair.]
And now you are doing the same to miss Mikotoba. You're concealing what you know for your own sake, to cover your own complicity! Where does it end, Sholmes!?
no subject
[Is what he says back, and for this moment, this brief moment, Van Zieks can see a wholly different man in his grasp. There's no jokes, no smiles. No games. Just a solid stare, not really cold, not really warm. More like its just a simple body in his grasp, and behind that stare, the cogs of an ever-thinking machine whir with reckless abandon.]
Do you think I do anything for myself, Mr. Reaper?
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If I misunderstand anything, it is because you refuse to explain yourself. I have no choice but to draw conclusions based on the information I have. And that suggests you are keeping these secrets to cover your own tracks.
If I'm wrong, do feel free to correct my assumptions. With actual facts.
no subject
[He lets out a low sigh.]
My friend brought the child to me, and both he and I knew the sordid details, things falling into place. So, what did you want me to do, my dear fellow? Tell her the truth, have her live happily ever as a good noble after until the dark day that Chief Justice or someone of the like would dig up the metaphorical skeleton of your poor brother and make society cast her as the daughter of a reprehensible mass murderer? You know they would have torn her to pieces.
[A shuddering exhale of breath. His free hand reaches up to grasp at his forehead.]
And with Mr. Asogi...he was embroiled in a dark plot from the very beginning. Oh, what is that? You would like me to sit that dear girl down, explain how I had to intervene to "kill" the young man off so he wouldn't become an assassin willingly? That I had to keep a man dead, in the hopes he would not leave another man dead as part of that blasted exchange? Think of her, you fool. And think of how you felt when you found out about the dark truth about the Professor. I already went through this with her, but only after I knew it was safe to do so, and that she could deal with it accordingly.
[He grits his teeth.]
I don't take delight in deceiving anyone. But secrets are weapons, liable to produce cascades of disasters there's no going back from. Some secrets must be kept under lock and key for certain periods of time. And I will gladly lie to keep more from suffering.
no subject
As for Asogi, he's aware of the attempted circumvention of the assassin exchange. Wants to bite back that a whole lot of good it did, with Gregson still lying murdered. But he cannot blame Sholmes for the desperate acts of Stronghart, compelling Jigoku to act instead. He knows Susato would not simply accept the news of Asogi's survival without explanation. All of that, he cannot dispute at this time. However;]
You speak of how I felt when I learned the truth about the Professor, or rather, the pain of learning the sort of man my brother Klint truly was. You are saying you wish to save people that pain, is it?
But what of the intervening years? I felt my brother was struck down at the height of his brilliance. That it was imperative I do whatever it took to continue his fight. To bear whatever burden, that title of Reaper, if it helped lessen the darkness. I never doubted this image, and that left me blind to the truth of what Stronghart was doing. The people killed on his orders, the dirty work he forced Gregson to do. Tobias Gregson will never get a chance to redeem himself.
And because I did not know the truth, I spend years hating and cursing a man who had once risked his own life to save mine, and every person like him, when in truth, he was a loyal confidant of Klint's to the very end. Who allowed him an honorable death he barely deserved. I sent that man to the gallows.
Do you understand how this is far more painful than simply the act of knowing a difficult truth?
no subject
[He knows how much that Van Zieks had to go through. Unknowing of the truth. Becoming the symbol of a corrupt system.]
I know.
[He closes his eyes.]
I...know.
[A sharp inhale. An exhale.]
I made choices. But I did them for my...for my daughter. In the end, yes, I suppose...I chose her over you.
[Iris above all. Iris saved, unknowing, dreaming of a father that wasn't really hers.]
Besides, would you have even believed me? Would anyone have believed me? And I only learned the truth...too late. Me, racing forward to criticize a grand noble of society as a murderer? The proof was little. Stronghart's hand was strong. And you, with your stalwart conviction and the Chief Justice's strings so taut...it needed a miracle to cut through it all, and expose the truth to trap that man so that there was no true escape. Mr. Naruhodo accomplished that brilliantly. It just came ten years too late.
no subject
But he's still angry. He's still hurt. Illogical as it may be. The reason that law is so complicated and corruptible is that Human beings are imperfect, illogical creatures, that do imperfect, illogical things. He doesn't hate Sholmes for not telling him. He simply hates the fact that the man knew the truth for so long, when Barok did not. He doesn't hate Sholmes for not doing anything, he hates that he was unable to. Hates the system that caused their respective situations, hates how everyone was only capable of exacerbating and perpetuating the situation, hates himself for being so truly, deeply, profoundly useless. He couldn't help Klint. Couldn't help Iris. Couldn't help Genshin. Couldn't help Gregson.
His hand finally falls slack at his side. Adelheid hides in the collar of his shirt, small and fragile, as a harvestman.]
Leave me.
[Slightly hoarse. He barely feels it necessary to say, assuming Sholmes will bolt the moment he's released.]
no subject
[It would be nice, wouldn't it? Some days, to simply be a calculating machine. To not let whims and emotions pull one forward. To let the heart stay silent, and to simply solve without care for the consequences.]
[But he isn't that. At his heart, he's simply just a human being. A human being that perhaps knows more than the average human being does, and can cut to the heart of a matter better than most, but...in the end.....]
[Fallible. Imperfect. Irrational.]
[Gregson died, and he couldn't stop that from happening, and it weighs on his mind to this day, because he tried so hard, so very hard to keep him safe, and...]
[He draws back, and clutches his head for a good moment.]
I'm going to find a drink. [...] If you want to join me, the invitation is yours.
no subject
....]
Only if there is no talking.
[We drink in silence like proper emotionally constipated victorian men.]
no subject
[Maybe for this one rare moment...he doesn't feel like talking. What is there to say? What is there to do? The sins of ten years can be fixed, but the scars will never heal.]
[He just nods and turns, expecting the other to follow along. Drinking time, Mr. Reaper.]
no subject
Now is really when he feels the amount of capes available in Cittagaze lacking. He needs to enshroud himself!! Stupid modern people. And their therapy and rules against doing drugs.
He has nothing to say he is just following after Sholmes. Actually, he has one more thing to say;]
And you will tell no one of this.
no subject
[But that actually makes Sholmes bark out a laugh in return. Ah, of course. The security that comes with a shared secret. Nothing like it. He smiles over his shoulder.]
I wouldn't dream of it, Mr. Van Zieks.
[Enjoy the name drop for now. It will probably be back to Mr. Reaper by tomorrow.]