You think he planned on doing that from the start? Or could he just not... [He remembers a night. A loaded gun, a porch, and a weeping girl.] ...just not go through with it?
The little bit I'm lookin' out for... Dawn, she had to watch big sis choose to kill herself to save her little sister. Out of the two of them, I can tell you which is suffering more.
How horrible. [...] But I don't think it is as if one suffers more than the other. It's all...different kinds of suffering. The one who sacrifices, and the one left behind.
One of 'em's still alive, though. The other gets that peace, knowing they did what they wanted to do and achieved their aim. Death's horrible in the moment, but it's a release, and a relief. When you're dead, you don't have to care about anyone or anything.
Living's just living. It's hard, and it's cruel.
[This... these words tumbling out of his mouth don't feel right. You have to live.]
Living is always cruel. But if you die, you cut yourself away from others. From the ones you care for. You cut yourself away from happiness, from joy, from love.
[He shakes his head.]
The bad is always there, but it comes with the good, too. When you die, there is nothing to be done for it. But when you live, you can help others, and help yourself. There's opportunity there. And you can use that opportunity to make a difference in this world.
You do. [He laughs, completely humourlessly.] But if there's happiness, there's also pain and misery, if there's joy, there's pain and monotany, and if there's love...
Nothing hurts more than love. It's torture, plain and simple.
[Then he falls silent.]
But it's all... a good kind of hurt, I suppose. I like the world, for all it's fucked up contradictions. But living in it's an ongoing trial. Death? Death's just the release of all that. It's an ending but it has to end or else all that buildup's just for sod all.
There's a reason the french call a climax the little death, you know?
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[That's a lot to process, what the fuck.]
You think he planned on doing that from the start? Or could he just not... [He remembers a night. A loaded gun, a porch, and a weeping girl.] ...just not go through with it?
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[He grimaces.]
Terrible. Just terrible.
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I'm a bit jealous.
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The little bit I'm lookin' out for... Dawn, she had to watch big sis choose to kill herself to save her little sister. Out of the two of them, I can tell you which is suffering more.
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[He heaves a sigh.]
How horrible. [...] But I don't think it is as if one suffers more than the other. It's all...different kinds of suffering. The one who sacrifices, and the one left behind.
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One of 'em's still alive, though. The other gets that peace, knowing they did what they wanted to do and achieved their aim. Death's horrible in the moment, but it's a release, and a relief. When you're dead, you don't have to care about anyone or anything.
Living's just living. It's hard, and it's cruel.
[This... these words tumbling out of his mouth don't feel right. You have to live.]
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[He shakes his head.]
The bad is always there, but it comes with the good, too. When you die, there is nothing to be done for it. But when you live, you can help others, and help yourself. There's opportunity there. And you can use that opportunity to make a difference in this world.
cw for gross metaphor
Nothing hurts more than love. It's torture, plain and simple.
[Then he falls silent.]
But it's all... a good kind of hurt, I suppose. I like the world, for all it's fucked up contradictions. But living in it's an ongoing trial. Death? Death's just the release of all that. It's an ending but it has to end or else all that buildup's just for sod all.
There's a reason the french call a climax the little death, you know?