We're gonna revive the dead soon and stop a bomb from destroying everything! If we come out okay on the other side of that, then MAYBE I'll say something to him. I still have to talk to Suriel anyway and figure stuff out with them too.
[He reaches out and. Puts his hands on the other's cheeks.]
Rin. Listen to me. You have little to no time. You can't simply wait for after. You have to let him and Suriel know now, if you truly, honestly, care for him. You don't know what may happen. So don't wait. Please.
[His cheeks! Are squished!!! And he looks grumpy now.]
No. Even if we weren't all watching our friends murder each other and get executed for it, it's too damn selfish to want to date two people at once. I'm not even gonna ask.
[He looks at him with a look of oh my GOD this BOY]
Be selfish!!! What is wrong with that, hm? Ask them! Grasp your happiness, my dear boy! Look at me! If it weren't for Kotetsu, I would've simply collapsed like a straw house after so long, and without him, I wouldn't be able to help you all as I could. You deserve to have them at your side, and if you love them both so immensely, then there should be nothing stopping you!
[He's pulling away from Sholmes now and taking a step back, visibly upset.]
Be selfish? It's what I deserve? That's the kinda things demons say! They take and they take and they don't care what other people think as long as they get what they want! And don't say that's not true, I'm part-demon and I know what I'm feeling! Do you have any idea how much I have to fight against that instinct each and every day? Do you know how often I catch myself thinking 'his' thoughts and have to remind myself to be a good person and not to horrible things?!
I can't do that to them, okay?! They're both hurting and have so many other things to worry about right now, I can't force "so, you okay if I date both of you at once" on them like that! I can't be a monster like that! I don't have the right-!
[And now there's tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. Shit. He hadn't meant to get emotional like this.]
[It's so different from everything he had been expecting Sholmes to say that a lot of the anger in him escapes pretty quickly. He's still worked up, but he actually has the presence of mind to not keep yelling now.]
I mean...you have a daughter, I figured there was an ex involved somewhere.
[He thought it was an ex-wife though, not another man.]
[He...actually lets out a light huff at that, like a laugh.]
No, no. You misunderstand. My daughter is not related to me by blood. The story of how she came to be in my care is...long. And not that important to say, at the moment.
[Surprise! There was no woman in the equation.]
[He sighs, and continues.]
But that man was...my partner for six years. We lived in our flat together, and we solved many a mystery together, him and I. And then, one day, he was forced to go back to the country he came from. And over the next ten years, we have been writing to each other often, keeping in touch. [He's...bittersweet. Wistful.] I loved him. And I...still love him. I thought it quite impossible that the human heart, as irrational as it is, could even love more than one.
[...He fixes his gaze on Rin.]
But then, Kotetsu came along, and with many circumstances, and many things involved...we are where we are. I love the man. I do. And although I may never truly be together with the man I once shared my life with...I cannot simply deny that I still hold feelings for him, to this very day. So...Rin. I implore you. Am I not a human being? If the answer is "no", then can you claim that my love for two men could be demonic in nature?
[He looks down at where he's grasped the other's hand.]
You are...a brilliant, kind young man, whose heart is filled with love. And you want happiness, like every man that walks the earth. To want love, and happiness, and to want and give happiness in return...how could that ever be evil? How could that ever be terrible? Do you not want to care for them, hold them, protect them? What you feel is you, and I assure you...they need and want you as much as you want them. Would it not be crueler to deprive them of what they care for?
[Now this is a conundrum. Rin really respects Sholmes and is tempted to agree with him just based on the fact that Sholmes hasn't steered him wrong in the past. But his low self-esteem and fear of his demon side getting the better of him are difficult roadblocks to overcome. It's far easier to separate his situation from Sholmes' and explain how that advice doesn't work for him.]
Well...that's different, isn't it? Your partner isn't here, he's in another world and even another country in that world. And even if you've told Kotetsu about him, he doesn't have to see your partner, yeah?
But Allen and Suriel are both right here. If I'm on a date with one of them, the other is gonna know. And like...what about kisses and stuff, how do you keep track of that kinda thing to keep it fair? And is 'fair' even enough in a situation like that?
What I should do is pick one and let the other down gently, but I don't wanna hurt either of them like that. So...I'll probably just not say anything ever. When we go home to our own worlds it won't matter anyway, yeah? Why hurt someone that badly when we're just gonna say goodbye soon anyway?
[Hm, he brings up some good points, but Sholmes is not one to be undeterred.]
It doesn't mean he'll never see my partner, you know.
[A huff.]
And yet, can you really choose? Between the two of them, I mean. And you never know, my dear boy. This is your assumption. I know the both of them are fond of you. Can you simply not sit them down and take the chance? Communication is important, and if they truly care for you, they will listen, and understand.
[He tilts his head, reaching out to grasp the other's shoulder.]
What I recommend is talking to Kaeya, Mr. Diluc, or Mr. Lowell, as well. My situation may not be similar to yours, not exactly, but...I think those three have figured out their situation, in some manner. Don't throw this away, Rin. You are someone who deserves to be loved. Don't tell yourself otherwise.
[Rin makes a distinct 'eugh' noise at the thought of asking any of those three.]
I can barely talk to you about this, I don't wanna talk to them. Plus they all three like each other, yeah? I dunno Allen and Suriel's opinions on each other.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Week 6, post-trial
He did remember the cookies though, so that's something. And he has a boba tea.]
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[He nods when he sees the other, with a light smile.]
You always do remember to bring those, don't you? How very thoughtful of you.
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[Rin do you even remember the full quote???]
We kinda need treats after everything today anyway. We found a whole lot of truth today, but it was painful truths.
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[And he's reaching for some of the cookies, patting the space next to him to sit.]
But yes. We did well, though. It isn't easy, to solve several murders in a day.
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[Even solving two was hard.]
...I couldn't vote for either of them. In the end, I panicked and wrote down a name I figured nobody would vote for.
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[Hm?]
Who...who did you vote for? [A pause.] Allen...?
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[He. Cuts himself off before he says anything more, and coughs awkwardly. MOVING ON.]
It was Power. I dunno why, but I had like three minutes left and it was the first name that came to mind besides my own.
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[HUH???]
And...oh, dear. Well, you were right in that no one would vote for her, at the very least.
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I know, I should've picked someone else. But I kinda panicked at the last moment.
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[Just. Going to say it.]
I do hope you won't do something like that again, Rin.
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no...? He isn't going around saying that, is he?
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[A BIT SURPRISED?]
No? But...are you not?
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Rin. Believe me. I think he would appreciate it. Perhaps he would die, but...one can hardly deny that you two care for each other.
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[He reaches out and. Puts his hands on the other's cheeks.]
Rin. Listen to me. You have little to no time. You can't simply wait for after. You have to let him and Suriel know now, if you truly, honestly, care for him. You don't know what may happen. So don't wait. Please.
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No. Even if we weren't all watching our friends murder each other and get executed for it, it's too damn selfish to want to date two people at once. I'm not even gonna ask.
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Be selfish!!! What is wrong with that, hm? Ask them! Grasp your happiness, my dear boy! Look at me! If it weren't for Kotetsu, I would've simply collapsed like a straw house after so long, and without him, I wouldn't be able to help you all as I could. You deserve to have them at your side, and if you love them both so immensely, then there should be nothing stopping you!
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[He's pulling away from Sholmes now and taking a step back, visibly upset.]
Be selfish? It's what I deserve? That's the kinda things demons say! They take and they take and they don't care what other people think as long as they get what they want! And don't say that's not true, I'm part-demon and I know what I'm feeling! Do you have any idea how much I have to fight against that instinct each and every day? Do you know how often I catch myself thinking 'his' thoughts and have to remind myself to be a good person and not to horrible things?!
I can't do that to them, okay?! They're both hurting and have so many other things to worry about right now, I can't force "so, you okay if I date both of you at once" on them like that! I can't be a monster like that! I don't have the right-!
[And now there's tears stinging at the corners of his eyes. Shit. He hadn't meant to get emotional like this.]
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[He's shaking his head as Rin pulls away, moving to grasp his hand, reassuring. Poor, poor Rin.]
[This is nothing belonging to a "demon", though. So he sighs.]
Rin....I must tell you something. Did you know that Kotetsu isn't the first man that I've loved?
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I mean...you have a daughter, I figured there was an ex involved somewhere.
[He thought it was an ex-wife though, not another man.]
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No, no. You misunderstand. My daughter is not related to me by blood. The story of how she came to be in my care is...long. And not that important to say, at the moment.
[Surprise! There was no woman in the equation.]
[He sighs, and continues.]
But that man was...my partner for six years. We lived in our flat together, and we solved many a mystery together, him and I. And then, one day, he was forced to go back to the country he came from. And over the next ten years, we have been writing to each other often, keeping in touch. [He's...bittersweet. Wistful.] I loved him. And I...still love him. I thought it quite impossible that the human heart, as irrational as it is, could even love more than one.
[...He fixes his gaze on Rin.]
But then, Kotetsu came along, and with many circumstances, and many things involved...we are where we are. I love the man. I do. And although I may never truly be together with the man I once shared my life with...I cannot simply deny that I still hold feelings for him, to this very day. So...Rin. I implore you. Am I not a human being? If the answer is "no", then can you claim that my love for two men could be demonic in nature?
[He looks down at where he's grasped the other's hand.]
You are...a brilliant, kind young man, whose heart is filled with love. And you want happiness, like every man that walks the earth. To want love, and happiness, and to want and give happiness in return...how could that ever be evil? How could that ever be terrible? Do you not want to care for them, hold them, protect them? What you feel is you, and I assure you...they need and want you as much as you want them. Would it not be crueler to deprive them of what they care for?
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Well...that's different, isn't it? Your partner isn't here, he's in another world and even another country in that world. And even if you've told Kotetsu about him, he doesn't have to see your partner, yeah?
But Allen and Suriel are both right here. If I'm on a date with one of them, the other is gonna know. And like...what about kisses and stuff, how do you keep track of that kinda thing to keep it fair? And is 'fair' even enough in a situation like that?
What I should do is pick one and let the other down gently, but I don't wanna hurt either of them like that. So...I'll probably just not say anything ever. When we go home to our own worlds it won't matter anyway, yeah? Why hurt someone that badly when we're just gonna say goodbye soon anyway?
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It doesn't mean he'll never see my partner, you know.
[A huff.]
And yet, can you really choose? Between the two of them, I mean. And you never know, my dear boy. This is your assumption. I know the both of them are fond of you. Can you simply not sit them down and take the chance? Communication is important, and if they truly care for you, they will listen, and understand.
[He tilts his head, reaching out to grasp the other's shoulder.]
What I recommend is talking to Kaeya, Mr. Diluc, or Mr. Lowell, as well. My situation may not be similar to yours, not exactly, but...I think those three have figured out their situation, in some manner. Don't throw this away, Rin. You are someone who deserves to be loved. Don't tell yourself otherwise.
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I can barely talk to you about this, I don't wanna talk to them. Plus they all three like each other, yeah? I dunno Allen and Suriel's opinions on each other.
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