PC CATCHALL WITH NERO

[greatdeduction]

Comments

[perfectdistance]

[Put the thought of him away. Because it hurts, because Nero was the one who made it hurt-]

I did that for a century, 'n he showed back up one day. Real good at bein' inconvenient.

[greatdeduction]

Oh, goodness. He tracked you down?

[perfectdistance]

Neither of us meant to. Some shit happened and now we're stuck in each other's lives 'til one of us dies.

[greatdeduction]

...What?

[HUH]

Is this...a wizard thing?

[perfectdistance]

[ SIGHS HEAVILY. ]

You've seen the mark on my arm. I'm a Sage's Wizard, and so is he.

And we're stuck like that until we die and somebody else has to replace us.

[greatdeduction]

...

[WHAT IS THIS. MAGICAL BINDING MARRIAGE THING]

So you're fully and totally bound to one another? There's really no way to break it besides...death?

[perfectdistance]

[NERO MADE IT SOUND THAT WAY. BY ACCIDENT.]

We're stuck with the responsibility of stoppin' the moon from destroyin' the world.

There's no getting out of it.

[greatdeduction]

[what the hell]

The. Moon.

[perfectdistance]

The Great Calamity is the moon.

[greatdeduction]

So it's...going to crash into your world? Is that the calamity?

[perfectdistance]

[i DESPERATELY WISH I KNEW. MHYK WHY WON'T YOU EXPLAIN THE MOON THING.]

We fight it back every year, but the after effects can get weird. Like bringing old curses back to the present.

[greatdeduction]

[EXPLAIN YOUR MOON, MHYK]

Old curses...it sounds like quite the threat. There's no way to just destroy the thing?

[perfectdistance]

The whole moon?

No. Would be easier if we could.

[greatdeduction]

There's no "exploding the moon" spell, I suppose. That would be rather simple.

[perfectdistance]

There isn't.

Otherwise we wouldn't be dealin' with it for thousands of years.

[greatdeduction]

[poor nero and his gay drama moon troubles]

You really are a hard worker. Chef during the day, moon fighter wizard at night. That's a lot on your shoulders.

[perfectdistance]

[If the moon didn't exist he wouldn't be bound to Bradley again. Tragic.]

Not weird to have a day job with the Great Calamity only happens once a year.

[But he also has to deal with the after effects too and those are awful.]

[greatdeduction]

...Oh, once a year? It sounded like an ever-present thing. Well, better for you, I suppose. Must be like...whatever the opposite of a holiday is.

[perfectdistance]

The moon's always there. It only tries to kill us once a year.

[greatdeduction]

[Sips at his whiskey.]

Happy Moon Is Trying to Kill Us Day...a grand celebration....

[perfectdistance]

Yaaay...

[not yay.]

[greatdeduction]

[definitely not yay]

Whenever we find a way out of this mess...will you just go back to your restaurant, my dear fellow?

[perfectdistance]

Can't.

Got found out as a wizard when I was marked as a Sage's Wizard. Nobody would go back to my restaurant after that.

'm living at the manor with the other Sage's Wizards now.

[greatdeduction]

Oh, no.

[POOR NERO]

And...he's there?

[perfectdistance]

He is. Unlucky, don't ya think?