PC CATCHALL WITH NERO

[greatdeduction]

Comments

[greatdeduction]

Not at all, my dear friend!

[Irene hops at his feet, perking up her ears. He is. Still speaking like this. Sorry.]

What do you need me for?

[perfectdistance]

I need to share a secret and get told one in return.

Want me to start?

[greatdeduction]

Oh, for a task? Hmm.

[Thinking...]

No, I won't start first. [A clearing of the throat.] I....do not at all perpetually eavesdrop on secret communications between the British and Japanese governments! Not at all!

[MALE THOT ENEMY OF THE STATE]

[perfectdistance]

I don't know how you aren't in jail?

[Thinks about this.]

I sneak veggies onto Brad's plate when he ain't looking. Or I'll cook food with hidden vegetables to get him to eat them.

[greatdeduction]

Everyone knows I do it! I'm not at all sneaky in my deeds, Mr. Turner.

[And he laughs at that.]

And you are very not sneaky, too! What a terrible way to get around one's dislike of vegetables!

[perfectdistance]

You could call me Nero, if ya wanted.

[He laughs a little.]

If he had it his way all he would eat is fried chicken.

[greatdeduction]

Nero? Nero it shan't be, then.

[He respects names! So Nero it is.]

Mmm. A rather healthy diet he's chosen. Even less frustrating things about the man.

[perfectdistance]

Think he might be the singular most annoyin' man I've ever known.

[greatdeduction]

Shh, shh.

[Patting his shoulder.]

You should think of him all the time. [SIGHS AT HIMSELF.] It's worth it. Alright?

[perfectdistance]

[A nod. Better not to think about him too much.]

Do you know how long this thing is gonna last...?

[greatdeduction]

I know! I really know.

[:,(]

[perfectdistance]

[He gently pats Sholmes' shoulder.]

I think the longest duration is 48 hours.

[greatdeduction]

[HANGS HIS HEAD AND POUTS]

That's great....

[perfectdistance]

What's two days in the grand scheme of things?

[greatdeduction]

A very short period of time! This doesn't interfere at all with how I speak with others! And I don't like speaking with others at all!

[perfectdistance]

Yes, yes. I know you're very talkative.

[He will write a note:

"I'm cursed to lie."

And tape it to Sholmes.]

[greatdeduction]

Oh.

[He looks down, then at Nero.]

I thought of this already. I'm not thanking you for this, Nero.

[perfectdistance]

[He's trying not to laugh and failing.]

[greatdeduction]

[POUTS AND SMACKS HIM LIGHTLY ON THE SHOULDER DON'T LAUGH!!!!]

[perfectdistance]

[NOW HE'S JUST LAUGHING OUTRIGHT.]

[greatdeduction]

[SNORTING LOUDLY]

The first time I hear you laugh, and it's not at my expense? Is this fair?

[perfectdistance]

It might be.

[greatdeduction]

[SMACKS HIM AGAIN ON THE SHOULDER]

Though it isn't worth seeing that smile of yours, Nero!

[perfectdistance]

[He's grinning, but now there's a slight blush on his features.]

Are you tryin' to embarrass me or somethin'?

[greatdeduction]

[He's grinning like the devil.]

Yes, but now that you say that, maybe I won't?