PC CATCHALL FOR VAN ZIEKS

[greatdeduction]

Comments

[greatdeduction]

[YOU! USELESS!!!! HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Then why are you blushing as if it was your choice?!

[winebar]

[SHUT UP IT'S NOT HIS FAULT YOU ARE OBJECTIVELY ATTRACTIVE DESPITE HAVING A HORRIBLE PERSONALITY.]

Because it is embarrassing! Why else!? The mere thought of being caught in a tryst with a ridiculous man like you... I cannot bear it!

[greatdeduction]

[can't believe we need to fix van zieks and his attraction to hot clowns]

Well, it happened! It most certainly happened. Too late.

[winebar]

[Be nice to him!!!!]

And it certainly will not happen again!
[Does he mean Sholmes specifically or is he determined to not kiss anyone else.]

[greatdeduction]

[no]

Not even with.... [Pulls out a random name except it's not so random.] Kim?

[winebar]

Don't involve Lieutenant Kitsuragi in your foolishness!

[greatdeduction]

It's not my foolishness I'm involving him in! He's a good man!

[winebar]

Of course he is! That is precisely why I am telling you not to involve him!

[greatdeduction]

All I'm saying is that you could do good with a little affection now and then! If not from me, then there's certainly some nice people around here!

[this is the stupidest thread we have, caitie]

[winebar]

[It really is, somehow.]

Lieutenant Kitsuragi is a professional! There is no need to burden him with anything else!

[greatdeduction]

Are you saying the Lieutenant doesn't deserve affection? How cruel!

[winebar]

And what makes you think he would want such a thing from me!?

[greatdeduction]

[Looks at him.]

Well, you're a serious, professional man with quite handsome features. A level head on your shoulders, when you're not tossing around bottles like birdseed. All good features, I'd say.

[winebar]

You are skating right over the fact that I am a man, Sholmes. So is the Lieutenant.

[Me looking at Kim's gay ass with my ooc eyes.]

[greatdeduction]

[he cannot believe he's hearing this]

Have you noticed him show any remote interest in women?

[winebar]

There are hardly any women for him to show interest in, Sholmes! Not nearly enough to base such a wild assumption on!

[We've got.... Yelena.... Scheherazade... the rest are teenagers. Anyway apparently van Zieks thinks gay people are rare shiny pokemon.]

[greatdeduction]

Have you asked?

[winebar]

Unlike you I have manners, Sholmes!

[SCANDALIZED AT THE MERE SUGGESTION.]

[greatdeduction]

[PINCHES THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE]

At least tell me that you know how to...oh, no, I think I answered my own question. Never the mind.

[winebar]

Wh-How to what?

[HELLO?????]

[greatdeduction]

[SIGHS]

Flirt.

[winebar]

................

I hardly see the need for something like that.

[Yeah.]

[greatdeduction]

It's the best way for telling if someone is interested in you. [A beat.] Or getting people to do what they want for you.

[winebar]

I don't need such underhanded methods. Lieutenant Kitsuragi is happy to collaborate with me on investigations here. Because unlike you, he is a professional.

[HIM JUST NOT PERCEIVING THE FIRST PART.]

[greatdeduction]

"Underhanded methods"-? Bah! Are you hearing yourself! It's a useful skill! And the Lieutenant is a human being, too. You make it sound like he's some robot.