PC CATCHALL FOR VAN ZIEKS

[greatdeduction]

Comments

[winebar]

It was not! Mr Lowell did not believe I had the ability to, so I had to demonstrate!

[So it was equally stupid.]

[greatdeduction]

....Ah.



Was he...satisfied?

[winebar]

Why wouldn't he be? I am perfectly capable of smiling.

[greatdeduction]

Smile right now and let me see.

[winebar]

[Ugh!!!!!!!!

He does it. For like. Two seconds. It's pretty subtle.]

[greatdeduction]

That was too quick! I blinked!

[winebar]

I hardly see how that is my problem? You've given me very little to smile about.

[greatdeduction]

I was most generous in giving you your favorite goblet and this is how you treat me? With no smiles?

[winebar]

[UGH.]

Fine. But don't blink this time.

[He will smile a little longer. Like four seconds.]

[greatdeduction]

[That's...........that's.............................]

[yeah, this feels like such a rare moment WHY DOES HE NOT HAVE A CAMERA TO BLACKMAIL VAN ZIEKS WITH THIS!!!!]

...

[He grins.]

Now that's a smile worth ten guineas, I think!

[winebar]

[SIR STOP FLIRTING.]

Wh-There is no need to say something like that!

[greatdeduction]

[IS THIS FLIRTING OR JUST HARASSMENT]

Oh come now, take a compliment. I could easily turn it into an insult if you'd prefer that.

[winebar]

Given I am still trying to forget the events that occurred in the hedge maze last week, yes. I would prefer the insult!

[IT IS MAKING IT A LOT HARDER TO REPRESS MY GAY FEELINGS.]

[greatdeduction]

[(sholmes voice) oh my god you repressed gay disaster]

It's a compliment, my dear fellow! Goodness, if someone really tries to seduce you, how in the world will you survive?

[winebar]

Now you are simply being intentionally obtuse. Obviously it would be different if it was said by someone whom I had not.... done such things with!

[greatdeduction]

[SHAKES THIS REPRESSED GAY]

I'm almost certain multiple people here have kissed one another and they're not falling all over themselves at a few kind words! Come now, man! It wasn't like I took you to bed!

[winebar]

[WELL DON'T SAY THAT BECAUSE NOW HIS BRAIN IS THREATENING TO IMAGINE IF HE DID!!!]

And they certainly made the choice to do so! It's completely different!

[greatdeduction]

[YOU! USELESS!!!! HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Then why are you blushing as if it was your choice?!

[winebar]

[SHUT UP IT'S NOT HIS FAULT YOU ARE OBJECTIVELY ATTRACTIVE DESPITE HAVING A HORRIBLE PERSONALITY.]

Because it is embarrassing! Why else!? The mere thought of being caught in a tryst with a ridiculous man like you... I cannot bear it!

[greatdeduction]

[can't believe we need to fix van zieks and his attraction to hot clowns]

Well, it happened! It most certainly happened. Too late.

[winebar]

[Be nice to him!!!!]

And it certainly will not happen again!
[Does he mean Sholmes specifically or is he determined to not kiss anyone else.]

[greatdeduction]

[no]

Not even with.... [Pulls out a random name except it's not so random.] Kim?

[winebar]

Don't involve Lieutenant Kitsuragi in your foolishness!

[greatdeduction]

It's not my foolishness I'm involving him in! He's a good man!

[winebar]

Of course he is! That is precisely why I am telling you not to involve him!